DOGGEDLY DEVOTED

So-called "dangerous dogs" have been in the news again. Of course the cliché that there are no dangerous dogs, only dangerous owners, is too easy and not wholly true. But the world divides roughly into three groups – those who love dogs, those who hate (or are at best indifferent to) dogs and those who use dogs as a convenience. That third group is probably the largest.

The dog-haters and their less passionate henchpeople are easily dealt with. I have a friend who detests dogs because a relation of his was savaged by a dog when they were both children. This is understandable to a degree but irrational. You might as well hate all humanity because of what the Nazis did. Those who are "scared" of dogs are just as irrational. Scratch someone made nervous by dogs and you usually reveal someone who has never been around dogs. I have lost count of the number of our friends who, hitherto not drawn to dogs, now enquire after our two before they come on to our own health and well-being. (Of course, we happen to live with the two most charming, friendly and adorable animals in the history of the world, but I would say that, wouldn't I).

There's a theory that the world divides between dog-lovers and cat-lovers but that's too reductive for me. Plenty of people love both. I would have difficulty living with a cat because of the dead birds, mice, voles and other blameless creatures it would bring me as offerings. Cats torture and kill for sport and I find that as repellent in animals as in humans. On the other hand, cats usually like me and I feel a glow of mutual pleasure when a friend's cat curls up in my lap (along with the sheer relief when it stops digging its claws through my trousers).

I once heard it suggested that cats are for people who need to give love and dogs for those who need to receive love. Too reductive again. But the uncritical approval that dogs appear to offer – I emphasize "appear to" – is clearly good for the soul. Keeping a pet – any pet – that responds to your affection is said to reduce stress levels and promote beneficial hormones (in the pet-owner and conceivably in the pet too) and I don't doubt it. Cats are probably cooler (in every sense) than dogs and their self-sufficiency has a lot to be said for it. But I'll return to the demands of dog-owning.

Those who use dogs as a convenience forget to make the rather crucial distinction between having a pet and having, say, a microwave. Dogs have a great many "uses". Their natural abilities in detecting things beyond human capacity is still being discovered. For decades, dog have had their instincts refined by humans in order to guide the blind and sight-impaired, to herd and track, to find lost or trapped people and to sniff out certain substances. We are only now beginning to discover how profound is their astonishing ability to detect incipient disease or trauma in humans and to learn complex tasks whereby they can assist the severely disabled.

That dogs are also encouraged to tap into their potential ferocity – as guard, attack and fighting dogs – is no reflection on dogs themselves. Dog-fighting is still nauseatingly wide-spread, an underground pursuit requiring animals that, without strict control, are a danger to the public. Many people, especially men, think it adds to their (imagined) macho aura to keep a dog reputed to be aggressive – a Rottweiler, a Doberman or some variety of bull terrier. These are all dogs that need skilled handling and are not suited to being cooped up in cramped households. Perhaps the least suitable for this male-vanity purpose is the most popular breed of all in this stratum of society: the German shepherd. These dogs are highly-strung and can easily become defensively fierce.

Certain kinds of dog are made popular or fashionable by chance. The demand for Dalmatians, another challenging breed, sky-rocketed after a couple of live-action movies loosely based on the Dodie Smith story The Hundred and One Dalmatians. I'll bet a distressing proportion of them had to be re-homed. The long-running Andrex lavatory paper campaign (in which, paradoxically, the puppies' anuses are digitally removed from the footage) has helped to keep golden retrievers hugely popular, especially in child-centred households. Tragically, the market for retrievers has brought in many unscrupulous dealers who have force-bred puppies to meet the demand. Professional breeders manage whelping in a way that ensures bloodlines are kept true. Puppy farmers overbreed and use sires and dams that may be unsuited to the purpose. There are now many retrievers at large that have brain and other defects. It is no longer the breed that used to be the proverbial child-friendly dog. In fact, the Andrex campaign has been the ruination of the breed.

A golden occasionally attended the dog class at which our two are regulars. He was cantankerous from an early age and would often growl at the other dogs. He is the only dog we have known in five years of attending the class to have bitten the teacher. Later we heard that his family got a spaniel puppy for their youngest child and the retriever broke its jaw. It recovered but it had to be wired up and re-homed. I hope the child is not in any danger from the retriever.

The key word in the previous paragraph is "occasionally". If the golden had rigorously attended class, it would almost certainly have had its aggressive instincts trained away. All dogs – I repeat, all dogs – need to go to regular training classes, ideally for their whole lives so that the good things that they learn are reinforced regularly and they are kept socialized with other dogs. There are many things to know about keeping a dog and unless you do the homework you are bound to make mistakes. I wonder if, when the spaniel puppy was brought into the house where the golden retriever had been previously unchallenged, the owners were careful to wrap the newcomer in a blanket impregnated with the scent of the incumbent dog. Such a simple trick leads the resident dog to believe that the intruder must be already a part of the pack and makes the process of acceptance much quicker. In a mirror gesture, the new owners should get the pup's mother and the rest of the pup's litter to scent some piece of cloth that can be placed in the pup's bed in its new home so that it has a familiar scent to reassure it. Smell is the primary sense for dogs and its importance cannot be overestimated. Nor can the pack instinct. When a dog comes into your home, it needs to establish its own place in your family, its new pack. Beware the dog who is allowed to become the dominant member of the whole pack.

Dogs are a huge responsibility. It is not simply that a dog-owner is liable for the dog's behaviour, in law as in morality. It is also that a dog is a long-term and a constant commitment. The best piece of advice about keeping a dog is very simple: don't. A dog is as dependent on its owner as a human baby but a dog never grows into an independent life. You can't send a dog out to school, tell it to go and play in the park, send it to the shop with an order and remind it to bring back the change. Dogs don't take a gap year before university. You don't need to know where your children are every minute of the day, provided you have a reasonable relationship with them based on a degree of mutual trust. But you do need to know where your dog is every minute of the day.

Of course there are exceptions. Another retriever/labrador trait is – or used to be – wandering. My headmaster's golden would be regularly seen pacing around the town alone, negotiating the roads with practised skill and never in any danger of getting lost. But that was in the 1960s and the traffic was a lot lighter and a lot more patient. Today, it might even get stolen, unthinkable then.

No one should take on a dog unless the depth of commitment is understood and can be met. My partner David and I were both brought up with dogs and we were both broody for a dog for years. But we lived in London with no garden, we had no routine, we were out a lot. There was no question of having a dog. When we moved to the country, we both worked from home and we had not only a garden but an adjacent field that came with the house. I had always imagined that, living in the country, we would be taking regular and immense walks with our dogs but, as luck would have it, the breed we chose (a Great Dane) is notable for its lack of stamina – like all big dogs, its heart is the same size as a small dog's – and half a dozen turns round the field each day is enough for him. Our second dog, a petit basset, has little legs and is able to pace himself to the big guy and still get sufficient exercise.

We never leave our dogs in the house for more than three hours at a stretch without arranging for the neighbours to call in and give them some attention and that only happens a couple of times a year. When we are away, we have regular housesitters who know and are adored by the dogs. (This is not to say that we don't have to be careful to disguise the imminence of our departure. The sight of a suitcase is enough to set the Dane howling). And both dogs have a varied diet, entirely consisting of fresh raw food and bones. They are fit, healthy, active, well-exercised, regularly trained, curious about the world and fascinated by people and other dogs. I don't think a pet deserves or should achieve anything less. No dog should be left on its own all day while the humans go off to work. A bored, lonely and ill-exercised dog will become fractious or listless or aggressive or neurotic or ill. It simply is cruelty to keep a dog that cannot be looked after. So many people get a dog "for the children" and then find that the children change and develop other interests and the dog depends on the most reliable adult in the house. If you take on a dog, you have to plan for 12 or 15 years of having a totally dependent creature. And it is much better to have two so that the dog at least has a companion when you're otherwise engaged.

So what about the dog that savages a child ... or savages anybody, even somebody else's dog? The desire to attack doesn't come from nowhere, nor is it innate unless the dog feels the need to defend itself or feed itself. Small children can be vulnerable because they do not always understand how to treat a dog and the dog does not always understand how to relate to a small person who gives it no food or exercise. No dog, even the best regulated, should ever be left alone with a baby, simply because a baby is hard for a dog to relate to. You cannot expect to take an animal into your home, one whose DNA is informed by a long ancestry of living in the wild, and expect it by its own intuition to fit into your arrangements. Dogs have to be taught and shown, chastised and praised, given their own space and kept occupied. Their owners need to learn what they require and what they must be denied for their own well-being (chocolate, for instance, and potatoes and cooked bones). They need a routine so that they can be sure that if they can be patient for a certain familiar amount of time they will be able to go outside and have a pee and a run. Dogs do have an uncanny sense of time. When my father had a shop, he closed up over lunchtime and walked home and back but on Saturdays, his busiest day, my mother drove to the shop with his lunch which he ate on the run. Our border collie would go with her in the car. Every Saturday, he would be waiting at the back door to go to the car long before my mother did anything to indicate that today was Saturday. He just knew.

Dogs are extraordinary creatures. They deserve our unstinting support and humility. No one should take on a dog unless they can unconditionally provide all of that support and humility.

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