PATSY for the OPPOSITION

It was a surprise to learn that Joanna Lumley is not allowed to live in this country. She is, after all, accounted “a good egg” by Dominic Lawson in his column in today’s Sunday Times, than which, to his class of commentator, there is no greater compliment. Miss Lumley has served Britain bravely through countless episodes of The New Avengers and Absolutely Fabulous, not to mention her roles in a great many advertisements and such socially important British films as The Satanic Rites of Dracula and Don't Just Lie There, Say Something!. All this, you would have thought, ought to have prompted the government to welcome her with open arms.

Perhaps the problem has been what appears to be her very large retinue, entirely made up, it would seem, of small gentlemen of a certain age originating from Nepal. These men could occasionally be glimpsed mutely in the background as Miss Lumley, sometimes waving what looked to be a distinctly offensive weapon, celebrated the achievement of embarrassing the Prime Minister, flanked by David Cameron and Nick Clegg. Never let it be said that the leaders of the opposition parties shirk an opportunity to be photographed with a glamorous celebrity.

It has become a truism that nothing is true unless it be spoken by a famous person. By the same token, everything done, said, acted out or imagined by a famous person is significant, powerful and worthy of our rapt attention. As a consequence, Joanna Lumley has not only provided what an otherwise obscure campaign required to capture the limelight, she has also entirely eclipsed the people who are the subject of the campaign.

Other causes will not be slow to learn the lesson. Brendan Barber, the General Secretary of the Trades Union Congress, is, I learn, to step down, acknowledging that the union movement has lost ground over recent years. He will be replaced by Paris Hilton. There are already moves afoot, apparently, to have the Labour Party’s re-election campaign fronted by somebody off the telly, apparently a favourite of ITV on Saturday nights, called, I think, Anton Dick. For the equivalent role in their own campaign, the Tories have, as I understand, unveiled people known as Katie and Peter. Don’t ask.


The Officer Class (pic from Guardian website)