A SLICE of PIE in the SKY

My devotees, god preserve them, will know that I am apt to relish the penning of a letter of complaint. Here, for their amusement, is my latest. It is to Mr Jeremy Darroch, the Chief Executive of BSkyB, and was posted today.

"Dear Mr Darroch,

We inherited a Sky connection when acquiring the above property some 14 years ago, altering the subscription to the Movie Package. I guess it to be five or six years since I had a Sky+ box installed in my study, where I download a good deal of broadcast material for research purposes: the Sky+ facility is a great help with this.

In recent months, the Sky+ box has begun to perform somewhat erratically and is perhaps showing its age. Last week, I had occasion to take out the viewing card. When I put it back, I was no longer able to access channels for which I pay.

BSkyB sent me a replacement viewing card but this made no difference. On each channel that comes with my package, the message that appears reads: “Insert your Sky viewing card”. I can assure you that the card is correctly inserted.

Now I come to the reasons for my troubling your office. Last Thursday (27th), I telephoned BSkyB on the 08442 414141 number to request assistance. The first man to whom I spoke asked some questions and then put me on hold. After a while, I was disconnected. I called again. A different man asked me different questions and then also put me on hold. Again I was disconnected.

When I spoke to a third BSkyB operative, I began by telling her that I had been cut off twice. She said that BSkyB’s service was suffering “system problems”. I gave her the history of my own problem and she tried a number of down-the-line tests that made no difference. She then told me that an engineer would have to be sent.
When I learned that I would be charged for this visit, I balked. Your operative put me on hold while she sought further direction from her supervisor but, for a third time, I was disconnected.

The Sky+ box remains, I believe, the property of the company; at any rate, it is certainly the responsibility of the company. My subscription now comes to £627 per annum, more than 4.5 times the price of the television licence fee of which your former chairman, Mr Murdoch Jr, was so scornful. I can see no justification for my being obliged to pay additionally for your attendance on the malfunctioning appliance.

Moreover, it is already sufficiently deplorable that calls for assistance should have to be made on a code – 0844 – that penalises the customer and profits your company. But that you should permit “system problems” to continue to disconnect such customers begins to look like sharp practice. Where technical glitches are interrupting calls, any diligent company would surely instruct its operatives as a matter of course to take the caller’s number so that he may be rung back in the event of a disconnection. This is a small-minded way for BSkyB further to inflate its £1.2bn profits.

I must tell you that unless BSkyB is prepared to resolve the problem with my Sky+ box without charge, I shall be switching to Freeview. I appreciate that the loss of one subscriber will make a comparatively small impact on your own £7m-a-year package, but I shall circulate my reasons for the switch as widely as I may and, in my capacity as a freelance writer specialising in broadcasting, such width is potentially considerable.

Depending on the promptness and sensitivity of your response, I shall also consider copying this letter to Ofcom and to the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport.

Thank you for your time."

I shall of course report back on any interesting developments.